Truth Is Love Is

 Old Man’s Waltz

I used to think life was precious—

how could it not be? The ones I’ve loved, gone now,

proved it to me a thousand ways.

I used to think life was sacred, and the act of bringing it forth,

like dawn spilling light, would reveal all the world’s secrets.

It was all I needed to know, once.

But now, here, older and foolishly wiser,

I see through my cracked lenses, my weathered hands—

what I never knew then, what I held but never understood.

Those souls I loved, each precious as a newborn star,

loved me too. And in that loving—oh, yes, that radiant return—

they became something more,

something beyond breath or heartbeat,

and now that they are gone, even as dust in the winds of time,

they’re no less sacred. Their lives, that once glowed warm,

it wasn’t their life force that kept me in their orbit—

no, it was something deeper, some hard kernel of truth,

some pure shard of love.

Love! Yes, love—true and tender, unbreakable and binding.

It is the secret truth.

It stands alone, a rare gem, hard to unearth, so simple when held up to light.

Few words can contain it; fewer still can mar its shine.

It is the lamp that parts shadows, driving out darkness,

the balm that heals wounds only silence has named,

and the spark that stirs hearts brave enough to believe.

It’s a flame that flares against lies,

a thorn in the heart of those who deny.

And here, in this truth I finally know:

life—our common breath, so fragile, so brief,

so fleeting as morning mist upon a river’s edge.

We are born, and we live, and we die; soon, even memory lets us slip away.

It is not this thin thread of life that we pass on to our children,

but the love of it, the sacred charge to cherish it, to hold it close.

For love—love, not life—is what is precious, what is special,

what makes all this living worthy of the ache it brings.

Oh, foolish old men like me, who learn this too late!

What wisdom only the grave can teach—

and by then, the lesson complete, we close our eyes to this truth:

that in the end, love is all that we carry forward,

all that lasts beyond our last breath

Truth is God’s Not Alone

 If you believe the Bible and don’t mean as in literal interpretation of everything there in, but as the Word of God. Closely reread Genesis and tell me there are not multiple references to their being other gods than our Creator. He says he made man like us. Us? He said let us make man in our image. Us? Our? God said Behold, the man has become like one of us, to know good and evil. Us! Who is God talking to here? His wife? We know he made man in his own image both male and female. We know this as the fall of man, but is it not the rise of man. To, as the serpent said, be as gods and know of good and evil. Truth is God is not alone. He is our God. The Creator. But truth be known, there are other gods. Little g. 

Truth Is, Joy Will Happen if You Let It

Truth Is, You No Longer Have to Carry That With You

Truth Is, You Can Get There From Here

It’s dangerous out their.

Truth is, it’s dangerous out there. My wife shared the news University of Maryland football player died while training and the coach is under investigation for harsh behavior.

My father played football at Maryland back in the 50s. Won a Sugar bowl actually. He knew all about harsh treatment from coaches and commanding officers. 

I too played college football and can attest to the brutality and physicality of such a career. Abuse from coaches, however, I am uniquely qualified to share my experience. Physical fitness, conditioning, working out, 2 a days, drills, practice, scrimmage, stretching, weight training, physical therapy, all to become bigger, faster, stronger than the other guy. A coach that can inspire and motivate you to push way beyond your normal tolerance and still keep your trust is a very special person. Prized. I only had a few. But thank God for them. 

I knew a couple coaches who just plain got off on working his players nearly to death.

Truth is, its dangerous out there. 

Truth is, it’s possible

You are blessed and highly favored. That you are here reading this is truly a miracle. Everything you have ever done, every experience you have ever had has brought you to this moment prepared to do what’s next. Every thought you have ever had, every insight, every inspiration has grown in you a the power to imagine what is possible. Truth is, our history and experience has mostly taught us what we can not do. Our experience is often something we must overcome. When we look back it is easy to remember our failure, so easy to feel the disappointment. Looking back at our mistakes helps us to learn how not to make those same mistakes again, but may be devastating if it makes us quit trying. We must not relive our mistakes rather we should create our successful future today by knowing one thing; it’s possible. If you can think it you can do it. Knowing it’s possible fuels the imagination. Your imagination will show you the way. 

Truth is, I am blessed and highly favored

And so are you. Recently I have seen the light. This truth is sometime hard to swallow. God Loves me. He Loves you too. How does that make you feel? Do you accept this to be true? For me, I wasn't so sure until recently and I have been at this for quite some time. Over forty years ago my sister died in a horrible way. I have been asking Him ever since. If You Loved her, how could You have done this to her? If You Loved us, how could You have let this happen? If You Love me, how could You? How could You let bad things happen? 

I can't speak for Him. I don't claim to have all the answers. But I do know the truth. Truth is, there is the way we wish it to be and there is the way it is. There is the way it aught to be and there is the way it is. Things should be fair and honest and just, but they are not. Life should be easy, but it isn't. God is in the what is. God's Will is the way it is. God has given us the greatest gift known to us. He's given us Freedom. She has given us our own free will. We get to choose. Freedom begets Love. You must be free to Love. God Loves us so He has set us free. We are free to deny She exists. We are free to hate Him. We are free to worship his creation. We are free to worship idols. We are free to worship heroes or money or ourselves. But, if we choose God. If we choose to Love God our Love is true. So, He Loves us so much She let us free. He wishes to be Loved so She makes this freedom absolute. This absolute freedom subjects us to the world as it is. This world is full of meaning. This world is full of life. 

Why do bad things happen? Bad gives meaning to good. Truth is, death gives meaning to life. I have found God is the light in the darkness. God is the solace in the suffering. God is there in the grief. Seek and you shall find. Ask and it shall be given. Love and you will be loved. Seek the Light. Seek the Truth. Seek Love. And you will find God.

Truth is, this is our Universe

This may seem obvious to some. But to me, I've always thought of our world as being in His Universe. Him being the Creator of Heaven and Earth. You know, the Big Man upstairs. God. Whoever or however you see the greater power than thyself. But, recently, one word changed all that for me. When I read this word I had to re-read it twice. The Multiverse! I've always struggled with our little Earth orbiting our little star in this little solar-system. A little spec in our galaxy. And our galaxy being a spec in the billions of galaxies of the known Universe. OK. That's big enough for me. We technically can't even see it all. OK, maybe, I'll believe in a biverse or an otherverse, but a Multiverse. Please. It lends to reason then that there are probably billions of universes then too. Just how big is God anyways? I was relatively comfortable with the idea of, "God of all the Universe," but the Multiverse. Where the heck is that? Truth is, I am grateful enough to be a spec in His Universe. One in a billions. Going to leave it that for now.

Truth is, a good story wins every time

A good story sells. A good story is remembered. A good story gets told again and again. A good story teaches. A good story entertains. A good story has a point. A good story has a moral. A good story paints a picture. A good story captures the imagination. A good story gets better the more it's told. A good story tells the truth. A good story never gets old. 

There once was a boy who left his hometown with a broken heart. He traveled far and wandered lost in the wilderness. By chance, he found a new home. It felt like he had come home to a place he had never been before. He was given the keys to open every door. He met a beautiful girl. He fell in love. He won her heart. They married and started a family. They had three beautiful daughters. They worked very hard and built a beautiful home. The boy received the news his father had died. He flew straight back to his hometown and was welcomed with open arms. He grieved the loss of his father. He grieved for the hometown that was no longer his home. He wondered how life would be if he'd never left. He visited all the places he used to know as a boy and very little had changed. He visited the people he used to know and they all marveled at the man he had become. The pain in his heart grew as he thought of his family back home. He would have never left if he had only known. He meant so very much to those he'd left behind. He traveled so far and it was easy to find. That his home is where is heart is, so he made up his mind. He loved his daughters. He loved his wife. He flew straight home and he loved his life! They lived happily ever after. The beginning. Not, the end!

That's my story in a nutshell. What's yours?

Truth is, baby steps is a good idea

Incremental improvement is the theory. The question is what size increment is worth the effort. The answer, I have found, is any size increment of improvement, when sustained, is worth it. 

When I was hiking at high altitude with a world-class back-country mountain man, friend of mine who I was struggling to keep up with doubled back to tell me, "Up here where the air is thin, never stop, doesn't matter how slow you go. Just never stop. See you at the summit!" Baby steps would be an exaggeration in describing my acent that day, but I'll never forget the lesson I learned that day. Keep moving forward. Life, like hiking a mountain, isn't a race. If it were it would be a marathon, your first and only marathon with the goal to finish well.

I've always want to make huge strides. To succeed. To reach the objective and set a new one even higher. Now that I am older I am starting to see the flaw in this way of living. Being in a hurry to succeed is problematic because enjoying success entails enjoying the ride to get there. A rough ride brings great blessing. The journey is the reward in itself. Baby steps not only allow you to keep moving forward, but offer the opportunity to look around as you go. 

A baby step is an action. One positive action after another and another in the right direction will get you where you need to go. One baby step today is worth any giant leap planned for tomorrow. A baby step right now is the answer to any challenge you are facing. If you take that step it will lead to another, and another, baby momentum is a powerful thing. Before long you will arrive. If you keep moving you will realize you are already there. Success is the journey not the destination.

Truth is, I've been living like there will always be tomorrow

I've been living as a mortal in all that I fear and as an immortal in all that I desire. Living as if there will always be time to do what I want, putting it off until tomorrow. Always doing what I fear I need, doing what I must to get through the day and ensure another morrow. There will always be another one. Although today is filled with sorrow and need, I press on to create a better tomorrow. I will sacrifice this day. I will do what I have to do, because some day will come and my dreams come true. There are things I want to do and don't, because there will always be tomorrow, until there isn't. Now that I am old I'm starting to feel different. All the days I have squandered seem to mock me with indifference and there is little time for my deliverance. In the few days I have left I will find time in the present to set a presidence. What matters most is now. Tomorrow has no relevance. Their number dwindling. There aren't many left. I'll stop wasting time. I'll stop the theft. I'll do it right now. Time to seize the day. I remember how. I know how to play.

Truth is, you can not control everything in your life

Truth is, a lot of things are out of our control. Knowing this helps us deal with the unfairness in life. Having a mindset to learn from that which we can not control helps us find the silver lining. We really don't know the ending of our story. We don't know enough to tell the good things from the bad when they happen to us. We know what feels good and we know what hurts, but do we Honestly know what these feelings do for us. Where they lead us. Who they make of us. We must learn from that which we can not control in order to choose our response. We must learn the alternatives to fight or flight. We must be wary of random rewards and grateful for the challenges we face. If we allow it, serendipity will surely come our way. 

Truth is, Sometimes Everything is not going to be OK

And that's OK. Whatever it is we'll work it out. We'll work through it together. I will be there for you. It's why God put me here. It's what makes me happy. That I can be here for you. If you need to be alone that's OK too. Sometimes I need to be alone. But, know this, you do not always have to be alone. You have me. 

I'm the guy who knows the truth. Truth is, it's not always going to be OK. And that's ok too.

Truth is, God Gave Us a Heart

Truth is, God Gave Us a Heart for those moments  in Life when we have to face the unthinkable, The unbearable moments when there are no answers. Those times when the mind becomes overrun, blows a fuse, shuts down, try's to reboot, but comes up blue-screen or worse dies. Sometimes the unthinkable will not compute. 

Truth is, that's why God gave us a heart. Sure, it breaks and it bleeds. It races and lumps in our throats. But when the mind shuts down the heart beats on. It feeds our soul. It presses on. According to our needs, it speeds up and it slows down. It sustains us. It's rythum defines us. Its more than muscle, as we are more than this bio-mechanical machine in which we ride. It powers the mind and body with fuel and energy. The generator and alternator in one power-pack running Independantly from our conscience thoughts. 

As the body is to the person. The mind and heart are the physical manifestation of the Spirit and Soul. Our Being, our consciousness, our thoughts that come spontaneously into existence are not random, nor are they voluntary. Do we create our thoughts from nothing? Can we decide not to think? Can we stop our thoughts and see from where they came? See who made them. Is there something or someone there in that nothing. Is the spark that jolts our heart and lights our brane from the same creature who sends lightning boltz from the sky. Are we the nothing from where these thoughts arise? Are we creature or creator of our universe? Is our Being separate or a part of this world? If we are in fact inseparable and indivisible from the whole of the Universe are we not also implicit creators of it. Must the creator stand outside and apart from that which it creates? Our thoughts are the only example of us being able to create something from nothing. We turn thought into words and words into ideas and ideas into action and we turn something that is there into something that is new. An artist creates art that previously had not existed. A writer creates a story that previsouly had never been told. A builder builds. The Creator creates. The mind thinks. The heart beats.

We are the nothing prior to our thoughts. 

Truth is, they call it mourning

Truth is, they call it mourning because it takes the sun rising through it to carry on. They call it mourning because it comes when all hope is lost. With dawn  the darkness recedes but the cold chill of irreplaceable loss remains. Grief like an old wound that festers with the very joy that makes life worth living remains. Life as the day moves forward. Friends move on with pity in their hearts and sorrow in their eyes, but life rolls on as sure as the the night follows the day. Self indulgent is the suffering in which I am trapped. So great is the need of those I love for me to be well. How can I be so weak as not to heal for their sake? How can I be so selfish to wallow when I possess all that makes a man great and a father proud. These very words I write attest to the gall possessed to cling to the losses suffered verses relish in the joy of this life. A full life has to offer many pleasures. This morning like the last offers a new chance to fulfill what my heart seems incapable. To let go of the past, forget the future and live for today. For now is all we really have and it is good to be here, now, with you. 

Truth is, right now is all we got.

Truth is, you have keep the present unshadowed by the past and not poisended by the future. This is easier said than done, but recently this truth has been dogging me. I've been straddled by grief that appears to be rooted in events from my past and burdened by anxiety born of worry about upcoming events. Thankfully I have made some progress recently and have started looking at things differently. By examining the beliefs that have been causing me problems I've discovered it's not a matter of changing my beliefs, but seeing them for what they are that makes all the difference. My feelings and emotions are a big part of who I am, but they are not who I am. I am emotional. Yet I am intellectual as well. What I think about the past and the future does not have to dictate how I feel in the present. What is happening right now at this very moment is what should be the primary driver of my emotions. To be in tune with the now. To be present here in this moment is what should matter most. To be mindful. To be here. This is my new focus. There is time to remember the past and there is time to plan for tomorrow, but no longer will I dwell on these things. I will focus on mindfulness. 

In this state I recently stumble across a quote that confirmed the wisdom of this new philosophy. 

“The truth is, we know so little about life, we don’t really know what the good news is and what the bad news is,” Kurt Vonnegut lamented in his terrific lecture on storytelling.

I have found the tragedies of my past have brought with them great lessons, wisdom and blessings. I have also found my greatest victories have played out to be comedies. If my life were a play or a movie I must admit to knowing very little as to how this story will end. I really don't know the good news from the bad. So why should I worry so much about the past scenes or those yet to come. I will play my part for better or worse. I will learn my lines. I will know my part. I will perform in the scene at hand. The show must go on. The saga continues. How I feel about it is of little consequence.

As I started writing this on Friday night it was easy to be brave and write as tho I got this figured out. Right now it's Sunday evening and what my wife and call the Sunday Doldrums have completely sunk in. I'm nervous in the pit of my stomach, it's hard to listen to what my kids and wife are saying and my mood is at best pissy. Even the script I'm writing in has turned bold all by itself. I feel dred. Not good.

So I stopped writing, looked up at my wife who was cleaning the kitchen (usually my job) and told her I was the so blessed to have an awesome wife like her. I told her it's like she does more by Sunday night than most people do the whole week. I went a said good night to my girls (one was already asleep) and let the know how lucky I felt to be their dad. I pet each of my dogs and told them how good they were and how safe I felt a night knowing they were in our pack. Wow gratuitude and interaction with loved ones is like a shot of anti-dred. As I'm writing I am consciously not thinking of tomorrow, dang, even writing that gave me a tang of dred. Ok the plan for right now is to conclude this post, do a mindfulness exercise, kiss my wife good night, read Max Brand, strap on the CPAP and do my meditation breathing until I sleep. Look out now here I come. Ready, set, go.

Truth in the Dark Tower

Before victory comes temptation.

Never speak the worst out loud!

Sometimes words are useless things, sorry for your loss.

Never's the word God listens for when he needs a laugh.

Truth is talent won't be quiet, doesn't know how to be quiet. It screams to be used. It never shuts up. It'll wake you up in the middle of tiredest night, screaming, 'Use me, use me, use me!'

Something's you wear on your face. Like a scar. I'm fascinated by the idea of duty and love as something that leaves a mark, something that might look like beauty to one eye and disfigurement to another.

I believe you. I believe in you. What I see in your eyes is true.

Truth is, They Don't Know Who You Really Are

They don't. Do you? Truth is we spend our whole life figuring it out. Knowing thyself is no simple matter. We disappoint ourselves and surprise ourselves as well. We succeed. We fail. We like. We dislike. We tell ourselves lies we hope to be true. We identify ourselves in relation to others. Andy son of Jeff and Nancy, husband of Suzy, father to my girls and so on and so forth. But who am I? Really? Am I a child of God? Am I highly favored? Truly blessed? I like to think I am! Does that make it so? It's a start. I think. A step in the right direction. Thinking the opposite may seal your doom. Predestined by your thoughts and beliefs to manifest nothing by having faith in nothing seems so much easier to believe than believing your faith in God makes him self evident. 

What I believe matters. I am that, I am. His words not mine. Words from the burning bush to Moses. By adding the comma I am able to better understand his name. I think therefore I am. Is not far from what I think, I am. If I believe I am that, I am. Or at least I can be. If I believe that I am not that, I am not. Belief creates the possibility. Faith creates hope. Hope sustains love. Love holds it all together. 

The truth is they do not know you are a highly blessed and highly favored child of God. Do you?

God loves you. Have faith in this and you will find Hope when you need it.

Truth is, You Don't Have to Carry that with You Anymore.

Truth is, if you own it and name that ghost that haunts you you can do whatever you want with it. Truth is you don't have to carry it with you no more. It's yours. You can leave it anywhere you like. You can lay it down and walk away. 

These ghosts come in many forms and have many names. They are scary. They are hard to see, but they are there all the same. Grief, guilt, shame and the like. Who in there right mind wants to see these inside when blame, excuse and ignorance can hide them from our sight. Hidden they fester. They stew. They spread fear and indifference. We grow blind to our conscience that screems in the dark and causes hayham in our lives. Listen to your soul. It speaks day and night. It connects your heart and mind. It tells right from wrong. Sees good and bad. Justice and malfeasance. It speaks truth in a still small voice. It sings of beauty from within. Your soul. Your you. What makes you different from everybody else. What is it saying right now? Can you hear it? Do you want to hear it? Turn down the noise of this world and it will tell you the truth. 

If you've read much of this blog then you know how I feel about the truth. Sometimes it hurts, yet it always heals. The truth I've been drowning out for most of my life is grief. I've been carrying it since I was ten years old. When my sister died it came into my life and I didn't know what it was. It was cruel. I saw what it did to my parents. I saw what it did to my siblings and her friends. It looked me in the eyes and I chose to look away. I ran. Turned my back and ran. Never looked back. Never stopped running. Man I was fast. Fast enough at least, but what I didn't know at the time was you can't run from something you're carrying with you. But I was strong and so young and dumb I didn't even know the race had begun. Over time grief made a friend. Guilt. Guilt over the things I was doing to keep ahead of my grief. The things of this world that numb the pain and hide the truth. Guilt over making bad choices. Guilt over stumbling through life like a drunk in the dark. What a shame. Shame. Who wants to listen to that? Hey! Still small voice. Shut the F up! Who needs that nonsense? I'm doing pretty ok without you thank you very much. Look at me now. I'm an adult with some pretty impressive skills. Skills that allow me to not listen to a word you say. Sure I hear you, but I'm not listening. I'm fine. I have a job and a car and a house and a wife. I have it all. I have friends and a dog a home and a life. Sure I'm so happy can't you see I've become the man I was meant to be. Now I'm a dad and so glad there's no problem with me. So much on the line. So much going on. So much responsibility. Another baby on the way. My dad dies and I'm fine. How could I not be I'm me. I do what I do to get by. Don't even ask why. My new baby is here only time for good cheer. Sure I cry but I lie and grief runs by and guilt and my shame how could I be to blame. So I live my life with my wife and three girls, two dogs and my ghosts with never a thought to what I fear the most. The truth. The truth is my sister is dieing a terrible death and my life falls apart as I hold my breath. I do what I do and I see my own death. Nothing seems to work. There's something I'm supposed to know. There is somewhere I'm supposed to go. The time goes by and I cry and I cry. I grow old but I do not grow up. In fact I go backwards. To that boy who was Ten and I run. This is not fun. No place to go. No place to hide. My grief, guilt and shame are on the outside. I finally see that I am to blame. I face my fear. I feel my pain. I own my grief and I give it a name. I forgive myself. I hug my shame. I discover the truth and set myself free. It is easy I see to own these. They are mine. I can choose to set them down. I can give them away.

The truth is I do not have to carry them anymore. I listen to my soul like the old friend that it is. It sings the same songs of beauty within. I listen to it now with the world turned down. It fills me with joy and helps me along. A clean conscious is a blessing and helps make good choices. I own it now and it uses new voices. I carry it with me because it is light and with it I see if I'm wrong or I'm right. Let's me know when to stop rhyming and say good night.